Drapery Hardware Humor


Drapery Hardware Humor

I confess that I can't recall ever hearing a joke about curtain rods despite drapery hardware being the focus of our business.  I mean, how funny can drapery hardware be?  So when this one hit our email box this weekend, we got an extra laugh from it and decided we ought to share it with our readers.  It's certainly tame, so here goes...

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases.

On the second day, movers came and collected her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table with candle-light and  soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.  When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow end of the curtain rods.  She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.  Then slowly, the house began to smell.  They tried everything - cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.  Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.  Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to fumigate, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive carpeting. Nothing worked!

People stopped coming over to visit.  Repairmen refused to work in the house.  The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.  Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.  Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.  He told her the saga of the smelly house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house.  Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about a tenth of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.  She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.

The obvious moral of this story...always choose curtain tracks instead of curtain rods, of course!


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